Through the Thunder: Part II

For those that missed Part I: Through the Thunder: Part I

There is something so therapeutic about food sometimes. After a long process of cooking, baking, and stirring, you can finally sit down surrounded by those you love and enjoy wonderful, flavorful food. It warms you, it leaves a sweet or savory aftertaste, it makes you smile, it sustains you.

While Elijah waited for an answer from God, he ate, drank and slept. So I tried it out. Two days ago, I decided I was hungry. I ordered a warm fresh bagel with honey walnut cream cheese, a giant cup of hot black coffee and a small bag of carrots. Unusual combination, I know, but I craved those foods so I gave into them. Sometimes I believe cravings are God's doing, they come from somewhere inside of you and they say, "Eat me! You know you want to enjoy me!" So why deny God? God said eat a bagel. So I did.

I brought it back to my room, savoring every warm therapeutic bite and sip of my whole wheat bagel and coffee. I stood up to look out the window, chewing every bite slowly. I was thinking that the sleeping process of my Elijah experiment should come up next, as a nap sounded really nice about then, when I turned around and found something on my desk.

On Easter Sunday, my grandma handed out little wooden crosses with a pin on it, so I could pin it to my clothes as a brooch or my bag as a reminder I guess. We thanked her politely and I thought nothing of it. I chucked the wooden cross, disinterested, into my sister's purse next to me. I forgot about it 5 minutes later.

My sister, without me noticing, must have taken the cross out and put it on the desk in my room at some point - and here it was, small enough to fit in the palm of my hand, suddenly lying before me as I chewed my God-given bagel.

And a miraculous thing happened. I heard a small, faint, voice, like an inkling. From somewhere - within me? from outside of me? But it was distinct. "Carry your cross and follow me."

I looked around, skeptical. I exhaled out of my nose in a sort of laugh. Am I going crazy? I didn't dare touch the little wooden cross. I ignored the request for the rest of the day and night. I think I wanted to make sure that voice was still there in the back of my mind by the end of the day. And it was.

So the next morning, before I walked out the door for class, I eyed up that little wooden cross once more and put it in my pocket. "Okay God, I'm listening, even if it is weird or crazy. I am carrying my cross. Show me what's next." I said, and walked out the door.

I'd like to say that God did miraculous things and I saw visions. But that's not what happened. I will tell you this though; I am now on day two of carrying the cross. At first I actually, seriously, felt self-conscious, like I had a tattoo on my forehead and everybody could see. Now I feel weird if I go out the door without it. 

This is also what happened. I finally know the meaning of, "You will seek me and find me if you seek me with all your heart." Because the entire day, I could not stop looking for God. It was as if I expected to bump into him around a corner, or see him suddenly at lunch time. When you are actively seeking out God - you will find Him. I found him in a lot of little things, and a few big things too. It was almost creepy, seriously it was. It was like I was having mini conversations with God through other people or situations throughout the day. 

In my night class, my professor opened the class by saying this, "I never, ever do devotions before class. But something is telling me to share these verses with you today." And he shared Matthew 6:25-34. 

I got an email reply from someone in the publishing industry who said she would love to meet up with me to connect and talk about getting into the publishing industry as a career. 

I got another email from a job I applied to months ago, saying I made it to the next process. 

I had a stranger smile at me, and I smiled back. 

I somehow finished my homework, blogged, and published a children's chapter book all in a matter of two days. While taking care of my very sick boyfriend, might I add. 

God is in the details. I truly believe that. I'd like to think that this part of my Elijah Experiment is the journey or walking part. So I'll continue to carry my cross, and see where else God takes me. 

(Stay tuned for Part III)